He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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