Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
