my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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