Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
someone owes me an orgasm
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
