Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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