Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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