does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
