my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
