Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
