we have officially lost it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
