SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
do nipples grow back?
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