the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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