Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do vagina's smell?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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