At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
