i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
