I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I CAN MOONWALK!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
