i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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