she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize