I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
