she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
