I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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