with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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