You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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