yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
