i think my tv is drunk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
