you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
