All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
