Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
