so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
