Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
