It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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