if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
