i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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