About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
