I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
