marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
