Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I could make wine with my vomit
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
