She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
