three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
