I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
