The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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