TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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