I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
