I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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