your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
