omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
