Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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