I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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