Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
