i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
