worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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