ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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