so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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