Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
