lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
