best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize