Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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