I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
